Illusive
by 13thCINDERELLA
Summary: This takes place as though the second half of New Moon had never happened, no Eclipse/Breaking Dawn. Bella refused to let Edward's abandonment defeat her, is given a new shot at life - one she never could have expected. more inside
1. Prologue: Dark Blue

Summary: This takes place as though the second half of New Moon had never happened, no Eclipse/Breaking Dawn. Alice & Bella had traveled to Volterra to rescue Edward, but he had never actually been there or intended to kill himself. A distraught Bella Swan flees the country after her high school graduation to attend school in Italy, but it's only a cover story for what she has planned. The Volturi give Bella a new path of life to follow, something she could have never imagined. Rated T(a high T, almost M perhaps) for violence and sexual things. Been mulling over this in my head for awhile, first chapter was kind of hard to write, because I didn't exactly know how to start the story...bear with me, let me know what you think. It's been awhile since I've done any writing, never done Twilight fanfiction. We'll see how this goes.

PS: Chapters are all named for the song I listened to while writing it, or a song that reminded me of the ongoings in the chapter. ;)

A/N: This is pretty short, and this and the first chapter are kind of...rough. I didn't really know how to lead into the story I wanted to write about, and I'm still mulling over a few ideas I want to take this in. Reviews/ideas are appreciated!

**Prologue: Dark Blue**

_"I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck. I don't, don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so I'll wait, I'll wait for the ambulance to come, ambulance to come pick us up off the floor. What did you possibly expect under this condition?" - Jack's Mannequin_

_"Of course I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm...tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

_"You're not good for me, Bella,"_

_"Take care of yourself,"_

The memories of that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

_"Take care of yourself,"_

His words seemed meaningless now, as I slept with my head on Alice's shoulder, the plane's engine rumbling beneath us. Take care of myself? I blinked back angry tears, how could he expect me to take care of myself when he wouldn't even do it for himself? Alice was flipping through a well worn magazine, but I knew she wasn't paying attention to what it said. We had both been fooled, for a reason it seemed that neither of us could figure out. We'd been so sure that we were going to Italy to save Edward from certain death, but he wasn't there at all, had never planned to follow through on his thoughts to kill himself and was probably halfway across the world by now. In some ways, I was relieved. I didn't know if I could handle seeing him again, being let down again, the recovery process would be too much to handle a second time. I wouldn't let him do that to me again.

For the first time since he'd left me all those months ago, I held a new outlook on my life. I wouldn't _let_ him do that to me again. For the first time, I realized that I had a shred of control over how I let my experiences effect my life.

I recalled vividly the exchange we'd had with the Volturi, vampire royalty. Their leader, Aro, had ben peculiarly fond of me, even offering me a place among them should I choose to become a vampire. The possibility of such a thing had never been so close and had it not been for Alice's swift and vapid denial, I might not be on a plane back to Washington at the moment. I kept my eyes shut and my breathing even as we flew, my thoughts racing a million miles an hour.

"Bella," Alice said quietly, her voice genuinely startling me into an upright position. "Are you dreaming?" Her voice was concerned, and managed an amazingly convincing portrayal of sleep. My eyes were swollen from crying, so it wasn't hard.

"Yea, sorry," I told her, but she eyed me suspiciously. I replaced the side of my face to her shoulder and closed my eyes again, falling asleep into a far too vivid dream land.

I didn't wake up until I was in my own, familiar bed in Forks. Charlie was seated in my computer chair, watching me calmly, a stack of papers in his hands, brandishing them in my face. "Why didn't you tell me, Bells?" He asked, his eyes sunken from lack of sleep. I stared back at him, not understanding.

"What? Tell you what, Dad?" I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes and tried to sit up in bed, overcome with exhaustion and a heaviness in all of my limbs that I didn't quite understand. I blinked into the light, yawning and forcing myself upright, pulling my legs into my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I cleared my throat. "Tell you what, Dad?" I asked again, this time with more control and an alertness that hadn't been there before.

"Tell me that you were planning to go to school in Italy," He answered, and my eyes nearly fell out of my face, leaning across the gap between us to snatch the stack of papers out of his hand. A brochure. An acceptance letter. This was mind boggling. I couldn't understand any of it. I ripped open a sealed envelope with sudden curiosity. A scholarship announcement letter, signed by the financial counselor; Alicia Coolen. No way.

I couldn't form words. "I-I-I..." How was I going to explain this, I didn't even have a way of making sense of it. Alice had told me I needed to take my life other places, that I needed to forget him and live as though he didn't exist. It had broken my heart at the time, but after my decision on the plane, to overcome...this all seemed like a more plausible idea. I would _not_ let him do that to me again. "I got in?" I managed, and Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. Good thing I really was in shock, it wasn't too difficult to make Charlie believe that I was surprised to get in. Really, really surprised to have gotten in. Alice had given me an out, a way out of my painful home town. Her last gift to me, which I was almost as thankful for as I was confused about. Either way, it didn't matter. I knew exactly how I was going to use it.


	2. We Don't Have To Look Back Now

**Chapter 1: We Don't Have To Look Back Now**

_"I'm so much like you, caught in a moment, coming unglued. In a world so big, it's not easy to choose which path to take, which pawn to move. So we'll let go of everything we've ever known." - Puddle of Mudd_

I sighed, staring nonchalantly into my own reflection, the picture of a girl I barely recognized staring back, cloaked in a long black gown. I wore tiny, black pointed toed heels and my hair was flat ironed straight down either side of my face, make-up gently applied to the rims of my eyes, lashes, cheeks and lips. I looked like myself, only enhanced -- the result of Angela's over exuberance. She was still chatting at me from inside the bathroom while I tried to straighten the tassel to hang against the side of my face, the cap perched precariously on top of my head. The effort was useless, it looked silly no matter where it fell. I sighed heavily.

"-- and Mike said he can't believe you're going to school so far away, unbelievable. 'Little Miss Bella Swan off to school in some fancy Italian university, I can hardly swallow it!' " She mocked the shock and slight teasing air that Mike's voice had held when I'd announced my college plans. I humored her by laughing gently, she peddled on about something else while I ran my fingers through my hair, the sadness in my eyes impossible to look away from. I'd never imagined today like this, never envisioned for one moment that I'd get my diploma without _him_. It was killing me from the inside out, so I tested a smile in the mirror, impressed by how genuinely happy I appeared to be. I could hear Charlie coming up the stairs, his dress shoes making a sharp click against the wooden staircase just outside my bedroom. The dull thud of knuckles against my door caused Angela to peak her head out, proof that she had also slipped her gown on over her dress. I opened the door for my dad to come in, his eyes spilled across the two of us.

"Oh Bells, you look so grown up," he exclaimed, his eyes suddenly wet with emotion as he pulled Angela and I into an awkward, haphazard hug with both of his arms. "You two look great," Charlie finished, straightening his tie to no avail. Instinctively, I reached out and pulled the tie out straight, redoing the knot with expert hands and smoothing the fabric down his chest.

"Perfect," I said, impressed with my own skills,"How are you ever gonna get by without me here dad?" I asked him, shaking my head. We'd gone through those hoops a million times, me desperately wanting to go to school in Italy, while he desperately wanting me to stay. All the while us both wanting the other one to be happy. Charlie sighed sadly and shook his head, scuffing the ground with the toe of his shoe and shrugging his shoulders thoughtfully.

"I really don't know Bella, but --" He was interrupted as my mother, Renee, came whirling into the room in a cloud of perfume and navy silk. She looked beautiful, and much younger than her age, blushing when I told her so. "We're so proud of you Bella," My mom expressed, tears gushing out of the corners of her eyes as she clasped Charlie's hand, making him awkwardly ridged next to her. I painted on my best smile for the both of them and hugged them each gently.

The words of my parent's pride threatened to break my resolve. How could I lie to them like this, how could I let them believe I had earned enough scholarship money to attend school in Italy, feign excitement about my new foreign life. About the only easy thing to express was the doubt I had about when I would see them again -- if everything went as planned, it might be never. I sighed shakily and checked my appearance in the mirror again. Charlie's shaky hands secured the safety pin on my gown shut, patting my shoulders and smiling at me in our reflection. "You ready, kiddo?" He asked, leaning against me, gripping my shoulder just a bit tighter as we surveyed my nearly empty bedroom. Curtly, I nodded just in time for Angela to grab my hand and swing me into a huge hug.

"I can't believe we're graduating," She shrieked, her glee evident as she hugged each of my parents and bounced the down the stairs, myself in tow as I threw helpless glances down over my shoulder, my parents beaming back at me with gentle waves as I disappeared through the front door.

The whole thing felt surreal. The march from the gym out onto the football field, down the sidelines and across the turf, a sea of shiny black gowns and hats stretched out before me, floating in a line to matching metal chairs positioned in front of a stage and podium. The soon forgotten speech by Eric and our principal. My shaking hands on the diploma and the walk through the grinning faces of my peers. The sea of flying hats in the sky, tumbling above us as the cheers of students drowned out everything else, the end of childhood, the beginning of something so much bigger. Something so much more important, tonight was the first moment of the rest of our lives. I clung to Angela and Mike, a strange mix of feelings gripping me as we screamed and threw our caps into the air over and over, the school fight song tumbling through the wind around us. For a moment, I was just like all of them, simply overcome with emotion of the moment, excited for the future and terrified of what it might hold. In that moment I realized that the paths we would all follow were not quite so different, the uncertainty and unease I felt was the same as the rest of them. In that perfect moment, the whole world made sense. If only for a moment.

The next morning, in the damp darkness of dawn, I finished loading my belongings into Charlie's cruiser with shaking hands. My mother was in tears before I'd even woken up, and I had wondered if she'd ever even bothered to fall asleep after graduation the night before. I sighed and held her the longest. "Mom, everything is going to be fine," I tried, but my voice cracked because I couldn't find any real truth in that. "Everything will work out," I tried again, tears spilling over the rims of my eyelids. Truth could be found in that at least, I had no idea how, but things were going to work out.

"You be safe, okay?" She said, kissing both my tear stained cheeks while her hands gripped wildly onto my shoulders. "Call when you land, don't forget to send mail, and pictures. I want to know how your doing!" Her voice was gripped with terror, her eyes trying hopelessly to hide her emotions. I smiled, as widely and bravely as I could.

"I'm going to be great mom," I cleared my throat, wiping my tears as I turned to face Charlie, "I'm so excited," I laughed through a sob, grinning like an idiot to hide any other emotion. "This is a great opportunity, everything I've ever wanted. Thank you guys so much," I broke again and hugged them each, wiping the tears off my face before I kissed my mom harshly on the cheek and embraced her for what could be the last time, gasping at the idea of it before I pulled myself together and looked her in the eyes. "You be safe too, okay? Take care of Phil, and check on this guy every once in awhile too," I told her, jerking my thumb back at Charlie, who grunted, making me genuinely laugh as I climbed into the passenger seat of cruiser.

When we arrived at the airport, Charlie had managed to bring himself together, but was clearly too distraught to make decent conversation. He communicated in one word answers and grunts as he unloaded my things. "I love you dad," I prompted him, leaning my head to the side and placing a hand on both of his shoulders. Roughly, he pulled me into a quick hug, reminding me of the night before.

"Love you too," He returned, "Call when you get in," He patted me twice on the back and handed a cart over with my bags loaded on. "Don't forget to write your mom, you know how she gets," He told me, but I got the message he wanted.

"I'll write you too, okay, dad?" He nodded, and kissed the top of my head, patting it gently. "Bye," I called softly as he waved me off, putting my full force behind the overloaded carriage of luggage, pushing it into the glass elevator that would pull me up three flights to the ground floor, where departures were. I waved at Charlie the whole way up the elevator, until the distance and my tears blurred my vision too much to make out which one he was. I had to will myself off the elevator, bustling with people and unfamiliar faces. Check in was like a daze, I barely flinched when I handed over my credit card to pay for extra luggage charges, and I had to be told twice to remove my shoes for security. Nothing seemed real anymore. I felt like I was walking with my head, quite literately, hidden inside thick white clouds, my vision and hearing clouded, my thoughts unable to drift beyond the thickness surrounding my head. Nothing was real enough to break through. Nothing that is, until I found myself staring at the double doors I knew would lead me into the heart of the Volturi. Volterra was beautiful city, the woman behind the front desk was equally as beautiful, though decidedly human -- I did not recognize her, and the thought made me shudder. The world, very suddenly, came rushing back to me -- the memory the most real thing I'd felt in years. It was something I had kept locked away in the back of my mind since it's happening. The last time I'd been in Italy, I'd stood in front of these same doors, staring into the eyes of another beautiful human woman. Only last time, I'd been here with Alice, to save Edward. The thought of him nearly broke me, and I found myself unable to move from the staircase, my feet rooted to the concrete as the memories flashed by.

The flight to Italy, Alice's vision of Edward sacrificing himself to the Volturi, the painful realization that his choices had all been to trick her. The pain we both felt when we realized that Edward wasn't in Italy at all, the panic of trying to escape back to America, months of wondering what had gone wrong until a letter in Edward's perfectly scripted writing arrived at my house. "I'm so sorry to have disrupted your life Bella," He had written in a gorgeous hand, "Please do not come looking for me again, I am safe, and your life is better off without me in it, know that." I gasped as the memories flooded my every sense. I could feel the bitter pain of losing him all over again. "Be safe," the letter closed out, the words still perfectly clear in my head. He was gone. The Cullen's had not been seen in Forks since then, Alice had never contacted me again and my depression had pushed most of my friends away. Angela had stuck with me through the hard times, and our relationship became deeper because of it. I would miss her.

Of all the memories of my trip to Italy, my death sentence was the most prominent. When I'd entered Volterra, I had no idea the Volutri would reject the idea of me knowing their existence so violently. Whether it was that dangerous knowledge I had, or the inability of the mind-altering vampires to affect me, the decision was made that I would need to be destroyed or else turned into a vampire myself. That choice was easy, I'd already made my mind up a long time ago. If push came to shove, I'd have done anything to be with Edward forever, how strange that I should now, instead, choose to live without him forever. I sighed heavily as I pushed through the front doors, greeted by the small smirk of Felix, who was waiting in the shadows by the back door. The human woman did not move from her perch behind the desk as I walked, my feet barely able to continue their forward movement towards the towering vampire in the corner. "Bella," He his voice was smooth as he ushered me through the door, though the ease in which he spoke did not sooth my, but rather sent a series of terrifying vibrations down my spine. "It's such a lovely surprise to see you again, Aro is thrilled to hear of your arrival," I said nothing in return, for I could not make my lips move or my brain form words, I simply stumbled along the rocky terrain behind him, having forgotten where I'd placed any of luggage, and having suddenly realized that I'd forgotten to call Charlie. I sighed, shudderingly. He'd be so worried.

"Bella," Aro exclaimed as I came through the door, like an uncle to his niece, his arms spread wide to match his grin. "Glorious to see you, I expect your trip over was comfortable?" I nodded once, my palms sweating as I clasped them together. "I assure you that I am overjoyed to see you here, my friend," He told me, his eyes watching me carefully as he reached out to grasp my hands, which only made his grin extend almost impossibly far across his face. "Ah, you are an amazing creature," He told me lovingly, running his cold hands over the tops of my own. I trembled at his touch, but bit the inside of my lip to keep from revealing any emotion. My lack of communication was clearly startling to Aro, though the rest of the Volturi seemed unaware of my presence. "I trust you'd like to get through with this as soon as possible?" He asked, though it wasn't much of a question, so I bothered with no other response than to nod swiftly again. Aro motioned for two hooded vampires to come forward, watching them very seriously.

"Don't worry, Bella," He told me, a little too cheerfully as I swallowed and took the last breath of my human life, right in the middle of this richly decorated room.


	3. Near To You

**A/N: Okay, let me know what you think about all of this. :) Reviews are always welcome, suggestions and such. Nothing else to say really, I wasn't planning on putting this up so soon, but it helps flesh out what is going on a bit.  
**

**Chapter 2: Near To You**

_"Near to you, I am healing but it's taking so long. 'Cause though he's gone and you are wonderful, it's hard to move on. Yet, I'm better near to you. You and I have something different and I'm enjoying it cautiously. I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard to get back to who I used to be. He's disappearing, fading steadily. I'm so close to being yours, won't you stay with me? Please." - A Fine Frenzy_

I had held onto a strange and unnecessary fear in the seconds before my becoming a vampire.

The fear of actually loosing my life had gripped me in my dying breath, the final beat of my heart had brought with it doubt that I would ever wake again. It wasn't until my entire body was wrapped in the unmistakable fire and pain that a changing heart brought with it that I understood that nothing had gone wrong. After all, how could it, I had been changed by the oldest and most respected of the world's vampires. Death was such a ridiculous thing for me to fear now.

In this moment, I feared nothing. Pallid, olive arms were around my body, breath against my neck as I closed my eyes and forgot my own life in the scent of another. The scent of thick cologne engulfed me, a pine like intoxication infiltrated my breath and made me catch it quietly. Soft, cool lips were on the back of neck, warm arms pressed against my bare sides, and I shuddered. I had never been touched like this, nothing had ever been this simple for me. Demitri's mouth hovered over mine before his lips pressed gently against them, I reciprocated and buried my head into his chest as we sunk onto the bed in silence. Our breath matched together, ragged and quiet in the darkness. "Bella," he murmured, his voice startling me from the peace I'd found in our actions, and I unfolded myself from the crevice in his side, sighing heavily as he drug me into reality. We stayed like that for innumerable hours, staring at each other, him buried in my eyes, me buried in memories of another. It wasn't fair, but he was all I had, the only thing I was absolutely certain of. Had we been human, perhaps we would have slept.

How this had all come about, I could not say exactly. I don't know when it was that we began this game, but somewhere along our bonding I went terribly wrong and let him love me. It was something I should have never allowed to happen, because I did not return these feelings to him, but there was a security in his arms and comfort in kissing him. With him, I found fleeting moments when even the sharpest of my human memories were dulled away in his mutterings. I rolled off the bed and dressed in silence, though I could feel his eyes on my the whole time. I returned to the bed briefly to place a chaste kiss across his mouth, then made my way to the door, waving quietly to him as I slipped into the light of the hall to greet the others.

I barely knew the others around me, it was long time before Aro allowed me to visit with anyone but himself and Demitri, and Demitri and I had only recently begun to see more of each other. Jane and Alec were still weary with my new position among them and there were many who were perplexed by my immunity to even Aro's power. Their stares were a constant reminder of the fact that I did not actually belong, just as I had never belonged in Forks. Their piercing eyes were not unlike the watchful looks I remembered from my human life, from my first days at Forks High School where I'd been a hot topic for longer than I would have liked. I smiled to myself as I passed through the hallways that day, recalling less painful memories from my human life, enveloping myself with thoughts of Arizona and my parents. The memories did not bring sadness with them, as I thought that they might, but it made me happy to think of the life I had left behind. My family was safe, protected by my joining the Volturi and they were content with notes containing tales of my happiness at university.

It was late afternoon before I passed Demitri again, who grabbed me by my wrists and escorted me into his room, our bodies pressed against each other, his eyes searching my with a desperation I wouldn't understand if he hadn't spent many nights explaining his pained, lonely existence to me. I'd assumed my life would follow a similar course, and we'd taken comfort in each other, he needing it more deeply than I would ever let myself. "You don't love me," He told me sadly, as he had innumerable times, his eyes trying to find me defy the comment, as he had over and over again. But he found nothing. I stared back him for a moment before turning away, shaking my head. "It's okay," He told me quietly, kissing the top of my head. "I'll never be enough for you, you'll always be everything for me," He spoke quietly, placing a finger over my lips. "It's okay, I can be happy with that," And I knew it was true. He might always want me to give into him the way he had given himself over to me, but what we shared was better for both of us than being entirely alone. We had that understanding, at least.

"Come on," I sighed, tugging him behind me as we wove through gorgeously decorated corridors and historic looking spaces until we reached an uninteresting stone door, which Demitri pushed through without hesitation, taking the lead now as he leapt into the center of the area without a second thought, a single stride bringing him yards away from me as I shut the door. Turning with inhuman speed, I pulled my lips back and let a feral growl rip threateningly through my chest, closing the gap between us swiftly.

I leapt along the walls of the room, darting around him swiftly, planting a hand on his unprotected areas every once in awhile. On a few special occasions I snuck a kiss in on his neck when he held a special disregard for my stealthy fighting talent. I was far weaker than he was, but was by far the faster of the two, I was much lighter on my feet. He chuckled darkly when I pinned him against the rough surface of the arena, my nose pressed against the side of his face. I could feel him smiling into my ear."Gotcha," I breathed before dropping him and shuffling back on defense, but Demitri waved his hands.

"You're too fast, Isabella," He praised me, shaking his head in defeat. He was the only man I'd ever known who felt it necessary to use my full name, but it was somehow more natural in his mouth than in anyone else's. We had spent countless days dueling in this room, the effects of which were evident in the crumbling walls and broken stone floor.

"Ah, come on Demitri, you give up to easily!" I shouted at him as he crossed the ring, a dark smirk on his face as he watched me from the corner of his eyes, running his hands along the indentions created by our bodies along the walls. I was breathing heavily, though only out of human habit, the air was far from necessary. I didn't even feel tired.

"I'm too old for this," He shouted, and I let a musical laugh fill the room, echoing off the walls. His humanity amazed me sometimes, it was something I could have never envisioned on him when I was human myself, but this side of him was so natural, so real, so alive. He met me at the door, threw his arm around me for a moment before I slid out from under it and into the hallway, his smiling mouth concealing the disappointment in his eyes. I held on to our earlier conversation to quell the guilt that bubbled up in my chest. When it was just the two of us, it was almost easy to forget the life we led, what we were, how we got by. I had never seen Demitri kill, and I kept it that way for a reason -- I could not bear the image, could not contain or imagine it in my own brain. As extensive as it had become in my transformation, the reaches of my brain could still not imagine this laughing man taking the life of a human being. It couldn't be possible, he was too human for that.

As we moved through the hallways, I watched my sparring partner communicate with the rest of his coven. My coven. It was still too new to be used to. Demitri was a band aid for me, when we were together I was nearly tricked into thinking everything was alright. But having him around didn't actually fix a thing, and when he wasn't there I was right back where I'd started in the middle of high school. Heartbreakingly alone and irrationally upset about it. I pulled myself from my thoughts to exchange decent, although detached, conversation with him on our way up to my room. Days here were all the same for me, though they were not unpleasant, none of them stuck out as anything impressive either. I ate, mingled with the others, practiced fighting and spent the night time alone or with Demitri. Every day the same.

Weeks blew past us without the slightest notice, time did not seem to matter here. No one was in a hurry and there was never anything that seemed to be needed or necessary to be done. Eventually, I would learn that this was only an illusion, that Aro and the others sheltered me from most of the on goings in the Volturi headquarters. But for now, nothing in this life mattered, there was nothing but what I saw in front of me and what I felt around me. A shallow, though occasionally pleasant, nothing.


	4. What I've Done

**Chapter 3: What I've Done**

_"What I've done, I'll face myself to cross out what I've become. Erase myself and let go of what I've done." - Linkin Park_

Each day was much the same for me, in fact, I did not even seem to notice when each day began and when each day ended. It was all the same and, somehow, I did not mind in the slightest. I had the advantage over everyone I'd ever knew, I did what I wanted whenever I had a whim to do it.

Now, I stood perfectly frozen before a mirror in a lavishly decorated bedroom staring into blood red irises that I had not yet accepted as my own. The bed stood untouched in the center of the room, the silence of the building captivated my every sense. I did not breath as I slid into ridiculous dark and skimpy clothing, admiring my reflection in the glass before me. I was a vision, something I'd never expected in my years as a human. Of course, vampirism brought with it innumerable things I would never have expected in my human life. Immortalization had given me a fearlessness that I would have never accepted, the talent to evade any and all abilities the vampires around me might have possessed. Not even Alice would be able to see me in her visions. I was invisible to everything but the eye -- I was irreplaceable. Aro valued me above almost all others, I was the only person in his coven who could not be seen, felt, affected by any power. It was the most thrilling thing I could have envisioned for myself. Of course, I was expectedly weak for a vampire, willowy and tiny in comparison to most of the others, a fault which hardly mattered when I had the element of total surprise.

"Bella," Demitri's voice at my door pulled me out of my thoughts, and I flashed to the door and peeled it open smoothly for the burly, olive vampire to enter my room, his face strangely placid. "Are you well?" He asked me, and I nodded, happy to have company in my solitude. The nod brightened his smile as he folded his large hand around my own, I stared at the union. "Aro thinks you're ready," I had lost count of how many days it had been since I had been changed. Day was a rough word, It could have months by now, perhaps longer. The only marking of the passing of time were the two letters from my parents I'd received, each one replied in a rough hand that best mimicked my old clumsy writing. I wove intricate lies of professors and classes, the guilt of which had been weighing heavily on me these past few weeks.

I needed to get out of the Volturi's headquarters, needed to run, to feel the wind, to hunt on my own. Aro had already granted me a job -- on which Demitri would accompany me until they were certain I could fulfill the objective without supervision. My invisibility made me lethal, my size made me delicate and silent. I was a predator, designed to kill. My work for the Volturi would be to hunt down those who'd crossed them, and, quite simply be sure that such a tragedy would not be an issue for them again. At first, this had startled me, the very idea of actually hunting others of my kind. It wasn't until the training started that I found the experience to be thrilling, that I found it empowering. I was caught up in my thoughts until a squeeze from Demitri's hand brought be back to reality. He was much too fond of me, but it was better than the detest he'd held when we'd first began training. I sighed audibly.

"Tonight?" I asked through quiet lips and he nodded, watching as I removed my fingers from his palm and drifted to the doorway. "Good, it's been much too long," I shut my eyes and took a deep breath imaging the way it might feel to breathe cool, fresh air. "Will you come with me?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. His response was a small smirk and quick nod. We didn't speak to each other again as we fled the room and joined the others in the hall, the hustle about the building the only indication of the time of day. It was only this loud when night fell, when humans were shuffled in for feeding -- the one practice I had not picked up when becoming a vampire. At first, it had been impossible to resist the urgency my body felt, the incredible need to kill had overcome me and I had wrecked havoc on the humans who 'visited' us in the tunnels on too many occasions. I had since then grown to accept the burn of thirst, and had convinced the others to let me attempt the alternate way of life, though every bit of the idea reminded me someone else. The memories of whom seemed as if they belonged to another person. I shut that door tightly again as I gracefully stepped into the light of the main hall, Aro was chatting with Marcus directly across from me. "Good evening," I murmured quietly, unabashedly interrupting their conversation. Marcus' annoyed gaze found me instantly, but I only watched the kind eyes of Aro smile down on me before I approached him.

"Bella, love," He gestured for me to come close to him as he rose and hugged me tightly, the warmth of his embrace engulfing my entire body. He then reached for Demitri's hand, who I had not noticed follow me into the room until this moment. "Ah, so you know of what I have planned for you, then?" He seemed delighted at the idea. I could not imagine how I had once despised these vampires, after all I had learned about them I could not begin to understand how they could have seemed so awful. From the moment I had awoken a newly created vampire I had been Aro's most beloved daughter, and Heidi's sister. She and I spent hours of my locked away time swapping stories of our lives on my otherwise unused bed. She had introduced me to wearing contacts over my eyes when I was allowed to travel in public, and we made plans to travel when I was granted the rights to come and go as I pleased. I could not have hoped for better. I could _not_ have hoped for better. The words pierced my heart whenever I dared to let myself think them, because I know what life might have been like, if it hadn't slipped carelessly through my fingers all that time ago.

Being on the inside of the Volturi's world was so much different than observing it from a human perspective. They were a closely tied family, reliant on each other in every possible way. I sighed, staring around at the vampires on the surrounding walls, most them engaged in evening conversation, their eyes showing that they had been recently fed. Demitri placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you ready?" I stared back at him, his startlingly red eyes boring into my own. I shrugged out of his hold, nodding slowly. We flew up the staircase, me behind him, watching the way his body moved as we stepped out in to the night, his questioning eyes watching me as I descended the stone staircase into the silence of the night. I turned back to look at him, blinking slowly at his admiring gaze. He was beautiful, that fact did not escape me, and it had been months now that he had been the sole provider of my alternate diet, my best friend, my confidant. We were perfect together. But he knew by my actions what I could not bring myself to tell him, I would never, could never love him the way he wanted me to. That part of me did not exist, not even vampire venom could have saved that small, long dead piece of me. Demitri was shockingly understanding and I stood there watching his skin shimmer in the moonlight, I almost regretted those perfect moments of my human life, almost let myself wish them away. But they bubbled to the surface again, so strong it threatened to throw me back to the confined space of my bedroom, but I simply gestured him down the staircase and bounded alongside him into the shadows.

"I cannot go far," He murmured into the silent night, "this one can hear the thoughts of those who are searching for her own mind," Demitri hissed his displeasure, but we continued to creep along the alley. "She dared to return here to tease us, because she knows that as soon as we think of her she will be able to find us, to hide from us without a doubt." At this he turned to me a smiled gently, "but she knows nothing of you, Isabella." His large fingers traced a line along my neck to the tip of my chin, running his thumb across the curve of my jaw line.

My breath came in a gentle huff and he lifted his hand to silence me, his lips just an inch from my own, moving so quickly over words that even my heightened senses could not catch them all. "Head north, it shouldn't take long," he explained, "don't let your guard down, if you do..." his voice broke off and he shook his head, but my gaze did not waver. I was not afraid. "I'll be waiting in the wings, if you need me." With a dark, and somehow comforting smile, he melted into the shadows and disappeared so quickly it was hard to believe he'd ever been there at all. His absence was all the incentive I needed to creep out into the light of the moon, my nostrils flaring in the darkness.

I could hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing, which I ceased as soon as I realized the noise it made. The quiet of the night was eerie as I crept along the walls of the buildings, my instincts guiding me northwards as I knew Demetri moved south, trying to lure the female vampire into a false sense of security, convincing her to believe that he was tracking someone else, that he'd taken a wrong turn. Her belief in him would be fatal, her last mistake. I felt the excitement in my chest take over and I was moving faster, ruled by senses and instincts as I leapt up the side of a building and took to the uneven roofs. I paused only to search for the scent. My small frame made no noise as I ran briskly through the city, my senses alert. Demitri was right, it did not take long. I found her draining a small girl in an alley, her body crouched over her victim with interest. My excitement gripped tightly to everything else and the muscles in my body contracted to spring, this would be the last time she'd kill in Volterra. She would not cross us again. A feral growl ripped from my throat, and the startled creature below me dropped her prey, but it was too late. Her reaction too slow. I was on top of her before she knew I existed, my teeth in her neck before she had time to regroup. I did not wait for a single glance, a single moment of judgment before I dismantled her body in smooth, expert movements.

"Perfect," I heard from behind me, and snapped my head to find Demitri enter the alleyway. I grinned back at him, and he quickly gathered what remained of my success. There was the thick, sickeningly sweet smell of vampire all around us he flitted around the alley with precise movements. I was frozen in place, staring at what I'd accomplished, but I could barely concentrate on Demitri's fast moving lips. There was something else on the wind, and the smell made my body shudder. Demitri saw it before I could hide from him, his eyes wide on me with questions, but I shook my tiny head from side to side. Tentatively, I stepped forward. With swift movements I led our journey back to the heart of Volterra. My entire existence thrown out of orbit, my breath coming fast and terrified as we flew along the streets together. My nose burned with the smell, gorgeous and intoxicating, my mind was impaired as I danced alongside my friend. It was unmistakable, nothing else could have ever affected me that way.

Demitri was staring at me, unmoving, his arms suddenly empty, the smell of smoke and the warmth of fire was all around us. I could say nothing, my mouth moved but no words would form. I wanted to walk to him, to tell him, to be comforted by his arms. But for the first time since my vampire life had begun, I was afraid. There was too much danger to tell him, too much to risk. So I shut my mouth and shook my head bravely.

The distinctive smell was quickly disappearing from my mind and I had think quickly to quell the worries of my partner, who was watching me, tense and ready to spring. Demitri observed me with a curious fear that I could not quite understand. "Thrilling," I finally said, and though I could lie no better as a vampire, Demitri did not ask questions and led our silent journey into the building. My breath was shaking as my mouth formed a single, silent word. Edward.


End file.
